My Granny

My sweet Granny passed away on December 10. It was quite a shock to many of us in the family even though she had Alzheimer's. After I visited her in March, my aunt told me that the doctors indicated that my granny had entered into the last phase of Alzheimer's - the doctors said that she still could have several years left. In October she went into the hospital with a urinary tract infection. My aunt then moved her into a nursing home on the advice of doctors to try and rehabilitate her to walk again (she had become so comfortable with the wheelchair - it was necessary to get her up and moving). She wasn't in the nursing home long when she passed.


My sister and I flew out to Salt Lake two days later to attend the funeral. It was physically and emotionally the hardest trip I have ever taken. I barely made the cut-off to fly - I was 33 weeks and most airlines don't like women past 36 weeks to fly. The flight down wasn't all that fun. Because we booked our tickets last minute the only seats available were a middle seat and window. I asked the guy in the aisle to switch seats with me but he didn't bite. I told him that I was going to have to get up a lot to go to pee and to get some circulation in my legs (on advice from the doctor to prevent clots). The seats were small and the lap belt barely fit around my tummy - it wasn't comfy at all. Long story short, the little guy didn't like being scrunched up for 4 hours straight so he kicked and poked and pushed me the entire way down. No sleep for me. My body didn't know which end was up and what time of day it was - do I eat or sleep? We landed in Salt Lake and had to wait for a plane to leave our gate. Sitting on the tarmac, tired, hot, with not much in my stomach I grabbed the air sick bag turned into my sister's lap and barfed. She just sat there in awe. I hit the bag fortunately but the shock paralyzed her. What a way to start this trip.


The service was very nice. It was very hard on me - I was extremely close with my Granny. Seeing her in the casket was a very hard pill to swallow even though I know that she is in a much better place. I grappled with different emotions - on the surface I was feeling very selfish for not wanting to see her go but underneath I felt such a great relief. I felt relief that she was no longer trapped in a body that was slowly shutting down on her. I mostly felt relief that she was free of the mind that was playing such terrible tricks on her.


My sister and I had a good time visiting with our family that we rarely get to see and I know that my granny would have loved to have been there laughing with us.